Its beautiful out today - so nice after the sweltering few days. 70 minutes of running without a watch. I have been running long enough to estimate distance - not more than 7.5 miles.

20 minutes of weights. Le sigh. I havent been feeling too spectacular after the afternoon of carrying weight on my back so been logging in the miles when its still dark out.

60 minutes of very easy running after the harder day yesterday!

My addictive nature is in full swing today. Everything is personal and everything is my responsibility. I strapped on almost 10kgs of weight in a backpack - enough to weigh 61kgs - and set out on the staircase of where I live. The deal was: no quitting unless there was vomit or crawling involved or finish 700 repeats. Whichever came first.

There is something very liberating about being able to will your body to perform the way you want in this weather. I hate being confined to location/clothes/time/space/anything. I like knowing that my body will always be able to make me feel good - and sweating it out for 2 hours in this heat is the closest I have to feeling cleansed. I would not trade it for anything!

So, 700 stair repeats with a backpack mid-morning!

I kinda have an unintentional streak going for the past few months - exercise every single day no matter what. Physical activity is something that has been ingrained in me for like 9 years now and I cant remember the last time I took 3-4 days off. Anyway, it was hot and sticky today and I was so sleepy. Still made it to the most yuck 31 minutes. Have no idea how far I went - just glad it was over and I could shower, drink my water and go back to sleep!

31 minutes of sweating - slow and gross!

Hills

In my real life I have only known 2 runners who I can call "friends". One is a dear friend and quite a bit older than I am. We used to meet up once a week - he on his "recovery" run and me, well, on my tempo. He is so fast - I envy his speed, and he thinks I am "graceful" - I think thats a polite way of saying *pat* *pat* Aditi!! Anyway, I have known him since my Brisbane days when I started running and he shifted to Singapore 2 years before I did. We often met up to tackle hills and he was always my Yoda and taught me to relax.

This morning as I was getting through my run, I thought of the hills that we encounter in our own lives. During a run, hills are an interesting challenge. We know we have the strength and experience to get through a climb, so it isnt a physical thing as much as its mental. Looking at something hard looming ahead is a daunting exercise in any capacity, running or not. I have friends who are going through hills in their own lives: a cancer diagnosis, looking after a sick parent, divorce, among many others. The incline ahead seems to be steep and unyielding. So how do we prepare? Running hills mirrors this and offers some clues. First, we relax. This is essential. Then we remind ourselves and each other that we have the strength for climbing. Ideally, we should breathe deeply. Then we begin. We lift our legs and pump up our arms and go at our own pace. This is incredibly important. Its easy to lose heart on a hill when we compare ourselves to those around us. We waste energy by taking our focus off the goal, which of course, is to finish. Some people attack a hill, others run steady. Some have a mantra, others need a clear head. Its good to know what kind of climber you are, the middle of the hill is not a good time to change tactics. When we practice enough by running hills, we develop our own strategies and rhythms. We become fitter and less fearful with more practice.

I am trying to get to a place where I welcome all hills in my own life, running or not. I want to be in a perpetual state of preparation, and this gives both pleasure and purpose to my training. This time, I want to be ready. For what? I am not exactly sure.

Monday: 25 minute stairs. 20 minutes of jumping rope. 25 minutes of weights.
Tuesday am: 55minute 12 kms. 5 minutes of core.

I have learnt to not have such a tight rein on things all the time. A few months ago, running without a watch was a huge step in letting go of control a little. With the craziness of the past few months, I allowed myself to not run if I didnt feel like it - you know what though? Allowing myself the option of saying no, not running when I didnt feel it, not doing everything I am told - all of this took the pressure off and made me breathe just a little deeper. So many things we take for granted. Being able to run is a luxury I am afforded; a luxury that I will never take for granted. There are people who need help walking, even washing themselves, who are too sick to leave their bed. I feel grateful every single day to be able to wake up and go whenever I want.

12 very hot kms this morning. The sun was up and shining at 5am today. A bit gross!