Ramblings on Bhutto and Running (bet you never thought you'd see them two in the same sentence)

I had an interesting exchange the other day with a friend whose thesis I'm editing. Shes American and visited Pakistan in 2002. When she heard of Bhutto's assasination she rang me with tears and told me that Bhutto was a visionary and "had a vision for democracy". I heard her out, since I'm *never* sarcastic (yeah, right). I tried to pay attention until she said called Bhutto a "charismatic maverick for freedom and human rights". She was hardly a maverick, since there is nothing new about money laundering or welcoming the Taliban into power.
Let me explain. There is no denying that Bhutto rallied her countrymen and presented a real possibility of a fairer election. She certainly inspired women and sought to change cultural views in her country. However, she benefitted from being exempt from those views. Her assasination is a loss to her family.
That said, if she is America's best hope in the region, then the world can continue to go to hell in a handbasket. There is no denying that Bhutto was corrupt and a two-time failure as a national leader. I do not mean to minimize her role in her country, but there is no need to lift her to sainthood either. She recieved better education than 99% of her nation and her father's career and execution should have inspired her.Instead, she was elected the first time solely on her name, did nothing with it and ended up being a common crook.
Anyway, I see a large hook coming to drag me off the stage...
Onto running! I had one of the best running days that I have had in awhile. The mornings in our part of Asia have been particularly crisp. I love it! It was supposed to be a recovery run, but I could'nt help it. The legs moved forth and the mind was willing. I did 13miles and calculated the splits as follows : 7.38, 7.24, 7.24, 7.24, 7.25, 7.24, 7.12, 7.10, 6.58, 6.58, 7.24, 7.24, 7.24. The numbers are incredibly even. The good parts are easily identifiable: miles 7-10 are almost on tempo (my tempo's are faster than that but the legs were not fresh). The results are very pleasing considering I havent been serious about this at all. I could have kept on running but decided to stop - didnt want the folks getting worried - I usually warn them about long runs but havent been doing it lately and hate it when they worry. The running was followed by a freezing 20min swim. This I'm glad I ended up doing since it reduce inflammation - the legs feel brand-spanking new!
It has been a peaceful Saturday - I could use more of these. I have been more inward than usual lately - very aware of my surroundings but have talked very little (surprise surprise).
Anyway, looking forward to tomorrow. Much to do!

P.S forgot to mention - cruised through 120 steps this pm.

Random!

I've had company these past few days - thanks friend. I left home at 4:46am with just a quick swig of water. My lucky t-shirt had been washed so I knew I was going to run long. Yes, I am *that* obsessive - but you knew that by now (hello? 4:46, 274 steps?...see how hard it is to live with me?!). My ponytail was just right - had enough bounce, everything was just....perfect. Anyway, moving on!
I ran out with an extra spring in my step. Even though, it had been 3 days since my last run, it came back to me like a familiar smell. Running is always familiar, never a stranger. It wasnt easy but the weather was just perfect. I ran 16 miles (25k). The last 4 miles were run @ MP. Runs that start out slow and end in negative splits are my favorite kind. I started off quite slow and had to stop for a few seconds because my hair came undone, otherwise it was all smooth. Came back and dove into some icy water and scarfed down a melon - always yummy.
I've been keeping away from the going-ons around the house and with most of the people close to me. Ever get that feeling where you just cant be bothered? Thats been me - yes, selfish - very very selfish.
I must confess - I didnt smile yesterday. I know I said I would, but I didnt. Its like I was concentrating so hard that I almost looked mean! Yes, I overthink everything...
I should write this down - I made artichoke pesto yesterday. They had these tiny baby ones and they took me back to spring in Australia. So I brought them back, cleaned them up, steamed them and then whizzed them up in the processor. Chopped fresh tomatoes, sun-dried tomatoes, pesto was folded through some wholewheat pasta with generous shavings of parmesan - that was my breakfast. Yes, its an unorthodox breakfast but it works for me. I top this with two poached eggs. This and my melon was a great start to the day with a nice 16miler!
I have another 200 steps this pm - 40minutes in total.

P.S. I'm still not 100% ok with the person mentioned in the post below. We talked but something is missing - I am very disappointed....

I woke up this morning in a bit of a daze. I havent slept many hours for the past few days but the mind for once is still. It has actually been still most of last month which has surprised me. Its the first time in maybe 8 years that the mind isnt hovering all over the place.
I did stairs for an hour this morning - 274 steps. This is in addition to my 40minutes last evening - 160. I couldve gone further since I had Tool on repeat, but I didnt want to get too sweaty incase I bumped into the guests. Imagine the horror on their faces - me after a workout is best ignored.
Anyway, its a very pretty morning. Very quiet, breezy and the air is clean. I need to step up my training - which means I must *must* give up sugar and have to reduce mileage, which i absolutely hate, because I'm addicted to the feeling after a long hard run.
There is a niggling thing I need to write down, otherwise its going to eat away at me. I've been avoiding someone I care very much about. I havent had an honest conversation with said person in I-dont-know-how-long. I dont know how long I'm going to feel this way - but right now its the best solution to the disappointment.
I resolve to smile more today. I've been very grumpy for 45hours and it must change! So, strangers out and about in Singapore today - beware, I'm smiling today! You might be next!
I have another 6miles on tap this pm - writing it down makes me accountable so I will do it! I must!

Happy New Year!

This is my first ever Blog entry. Its a bit presumptuous to think people actually care what I write but its the new year, its my blog and I'll write anything I want and you cant stop me! I think I created this almost like an online diary. I'm guilty of thinking too much and this is a good way to purge thoughts, however incoherent they may be.
Purging - thats interesting. I use running as meditation, as prayer, as a present to myself when I'm happy, as a stress-release, among many many other uses. I also use it to purge myself of thoughts, emotions that are too gnawing. Anyway, since this is my first post, I shant bore anyone too much with my yabbering. Although, I must say, I might invent new words everyday and I actually type alot like I speak. The people who know me are probably rolling their eyes and going "oh great".
What is the point Deet! Get to the point! Yes the point of this blog is to create an online diary and also as an accountability training log. Many people ask me where I draw inspiration from. At the risk of sounding conceited - I inspire myself. I have never once drawn motivation from an outside source. Its within me - I am my strenght and I am my weakness.