Cope.

This is what the past few hours have been about - I dont ever want to come across to people as some religious nut. If I am completely honest, I have so many doubts about what I believe that I wonder if I believe in anything at all. I guess thats why people call it Faith. I've had too many undefinable experiences in my life to not see what I would describe as the hand of God. The intensity of emotions I sometimes feel, those feelings, one can only feel, because of the hand of God. The stars, the sunrise (something I dont miss out on), nature around us, is the hand of God.
However, what about those people who are not fortunate enough to wake up to a peaceful sunrise, who wake up war and violence - do they not see the hand of God? If they dont see it from the horrific life they are forced to live, how are they ever going to see it?

It doesnt seem fair that I have it so easy - to wake up, go for a safe run, eat breakfast, take public transportation without a care in the world, eat whatever I want for lunch, be surrounded by people who love me, and then sit around at the end of the day thinking about how good God is. Life can be so easy for anyone who chooses to make it that - it just doesnt seem fair. We can live in our self-involved fantasy world that about 1% of the population actually gets to experience and then talk about our "faith". I dont have an answer for myself today unfortunately. All I have are questions.

370 stair repeats
30 minute run (no idea how far this was)
22 laps in the pool.

Character-building

My worst nightmare came true today - being over 6 miles away from home, pitch dark, too much lightning, too rainy to see ahead with dogs moaning. I was supposed to do a slow long-ish run today and it turned out to be a 13 miles tempo!

The first 5 or so miles were ok - humid and still and it didnt look like it would rain. Mile 5 to 6, it drizzled a bit but I didnt mind. After that though, the heavens gave out with a vengence. I tried running through it,couldnt concentrate and had too much water in my eyes so stopped for shelter for 10 or so minutes. It did not look like it would stop anytime soon, so I did what made the most sense to me at the time - I ran. Correction, I sprinted as fast as I could and in the bargain set a PR for 10.5kms - just over 40 minutes. My PR for a 10k was set a year ago when I returned from New York, that I won and it was just over 41 minutes. I was also 10lbs lighter then and had not run for over 2 weeks.

I did feel like I was in a race since there were many many people who took shelter - I even got a few claps. I am such a wuss when it comes to lightning, so this was surprising even to me.

No soreness right now, but I am freezing!!

7 Chapters in a long run.

Chapter 1: The First 15 Minutes

I feel like crap. I ate too much too soon before running. I think I might have to poop again. My sunglasses aren’t comfortable. I should have never worn these shorts. How am I going to run 23 miles today when I don’t feel like I could even make it back home from where I am now?

Chapter 2: The Next 75 minutes

I love running. It‘s so awesome to be out running while everyone else is still asleep. I love hearing nothing but the birds waking up. I feel like I could run forever today. I’m so glad I’m in such great shape. I am going to rock this marathon in 3 weeks. Ryan Hall’s got nothing on me.

Chapter 3: 90 mins in

I wonder what my pace is. I’d better ease off a bit. Crap - I’m just barely half-way done. What happens if I don’t have enough to finish? I have to pee so freakin’ bad. Where did I stick my next water-bottle again? Nice turn-signal buddy. I hate drivers. Oh great - the sweet smell of fresh farm fertilizer *rolls eyes*

Chapter 4: Crossing into the 3rd hour

How long have I’ve been running? An hour and 50 mins.

How about now? An hour and 53 mins. Okay - I won’t check my watch again for awhile.

How about now? An hour and 57 mins.

Chapter 5: 7 miles to go

You know, I really do feel pretty good. I think I’m gonna be alright today. Maybe I can even kick in the last few miles. I read about that recently. What did they call that? Progression run, right? Yeah - I’ll tell everyone how I did my long run as a “progression run”. Just like the Hanson runners. I should start something like that out here. I’ll open a running shoe store and design workouts for people. It’ll be huge! I can’t wait to tell Dad and Mix about this idea!

Chapter 6: The last 3 miles

Okay - time to pick it up. Remember - it’s a Progression Run. Training like the pro’s! That’s me. Wow - this is tough. Do I have to run hard the whole 3 miles? Okay just suck it up. Suck it Princess – relentless forward motion “My time is now! I’m coming alive!” Okay - no more looking at the watch until I finish. Crap - I just looked again. Okay no more checking starting now. Crap - checked again.

Chapter 7 - The Finish

Yeah baby - 23 miles. I rule. Hey – I see my neighbour walking his dog. If I walk by maybe he’ll ask me how far I ran. Shoot - he went inside the lift. I’ll keep walking and then turn around and walk by again. He’ll be so impressed when I tell him how far I ran. Crap – he didnt hold the lift door for me!! Grrr....

Speed play

Gosh! I was SO nervous before this morning's run. Downed 1/4 cup of the thickest cup of coffee before leaving - needed extra confidence that I could go as fast as I wanted to. Ended up finishing 7.8 miles in 60 minutes. I knew I was spent when my hair was soaked with sweat. I couldve gone further but I was dying for a swim! You know you went fast enough when you are nauseous after a speedy session. And boy do I feel it now!

7.8 miles included 2 miles of back and forth sprints along a 100m track.
22 laps in the pool.