220 stair sprints this am

220 stair sprints this am

5 miles this am.
3-ish more this pm.

Top 5 favorite smells:

Right before it starts to rain heavily, when the ground is just barely catching the first few drops.

Freshly mowed lawn

Cinnamon with apples

Jasmine

Freshly baked bread

12.3 miles this am. My first double digit single run logged in a very long time. I didnt take any walk breaks. My legs found rhythm as soon as I hit mile 6. After that it felt easy and comfortable. The run was progressive - the first part took an hour and the second half took 45 minutes.

None expected this pm.

Food - healthier this time :-)

I went for a 40 minute blood circulating run this am. Nothing special and quite unspectacular and I will spare you my whining.

I have been inspired by the humble persimmon to dedicate a whole post to its numminess*. It is quite biblical in its beauty and looks so out of place in this day and age of mass produced, grotesque beastly looking fruit. They look like orangey tomatoes - plump and juicy. Be sure to buy them ripe because unripe ones are awful and cause your tongue to curl (and not in the nice way that kiwi's do however - the fruit mind you, not the people). Anyway, I have been eating 5-6 of them nearly everyday and am obsessed! They taste sweeter than a mango and so much better than the cardboardy tasting peaches that taste of nothingness most of the time. I have 8 left over and will take them over to my Mother's house so we can use half to make a fruit crumble and the rest for a tart. I cant wait!

As you may have noticed, I've been re-acquainted with the kitchen and the stove lately and it gives me as much pleasure as running. Its peaceful and I get to use my hands and be messy. The OCD in me makes cleaning up just as fun!

See how hard I'm trying to be upbeat about my lack of activity. I will get in 4-6 miles before the day is over. Be safe out there today!

*numiness - I couldnt say "yummy" till I was a bit older than I should have been, so always said nummy. It hasnt changed and now everyone says it :-)

More of the same unfortunately

Frustration leads to anxiety which leads to anger. As much as I want to blog about happy things, I think its more inspiring to see ups and downs of something and how one overcomes their own shortcomings every single day. The last year has seen me struggling alot with running. The reason I started blogging about it was because I put in alot of miles for a recreational runner - on average 100 mile weeks while holding onto a demanding 60 hour a week banking job. I then made the transition back into academia, while continuing to run through the night. Right now, I can barely make it 7 miles and that too is a STRUGGLE!

It has been raining alot for the past twelve hours. I was so adamant though, that I still put on my big boy shorts and left promising myself that I would run eighty minutes continuously even if it killed me. I wore my Mizuno shorts since it doesnt stick to the skin during a heavy downpour. And there it was - I did run but stupidity as always took over - feeling very annoyed at the stinging pain in my lungs (because I am so unfit right now!!!), I peeled off my t-shirt and jumped into the ocean. The water was cold and it was pouring heavily. Not a soul in sight - and it was beautiful. I only survived in there for 10 minutes or so, swimming is very difficult for me right now because my breathing isnt disciplined anymore.

All in all, not a bad morning and I would say its been my best workout since I've been back. Not much competition here! I was out there for an hour and twenty eight productive minutes - no walking at all.

This is a happy time of year and nice weather to be outdoors in - so get out there and run already (its my favorite running mantra)!

Oh how frustrated I am with where I am with my running. I have been so mad at myself. I weigh 110lbs as of this morning and just everything is going south - I've lost muscle, fitness and my nutrition and hydration is awful. I cannot believe I've let it get this way AGAIN - twice in a year. What a pain in the rear I can be! Ok. RANT OVER!!

I would love to write 8, but to be honest, I only managed 7.5 miles this am - stopping 5 times.

4 more to be logged in this pm. I should tape bacon on someones ass and chase them because thats the ONLY way I can be motivated at this point. Or Jalebi's or something equally oily and bad for you!

Anyway, I did not do my pm run yesterday either :-(.

3 mile recovery this morning.

May do an actual 'workout' of 6 miles this pm. Atleast 3 quick miles will be clocked in before the day is done

Connections.

I moved back home for a few days yesterday. It is comforting - especially running my familiar running route. I know each marker to the second and can predict, again to the very second, the time I will be back even if I end up walking a few 100m's. I dont know if you know what the anticipation of a run feels like. Its excitement, nervousness, giddiness and knots in your tummy - much like falling in love, or so I've been told. Although I never remember feeling like that - maybe I never allow myself to feel that way about another human being.

Anyway, if you've ever seen me drink my concoction of "coffee", you would wonder why I put myself through that misery. This morning was no different. It made me gag as usual and left an ugly, but familiar taste in my mouth. So I set off bumping into the South Indian newspaper man who looks at me and looks away, as if hes never sure that I will return his greeting. This is routine - I have been living here for over 10years and he has always been this way.

I set off and promised myself that I would go 7 miles no matter how much it killed my legs. It is when you hit rock bottom physically that you realise how long even 2 miles can be. It is humbling. I felt my lungs working hard almost right away. Very very humbling feeling. I slowed to what would've felt like a crawl 2 months ago, but I was still happy because it was forward relentless motion whichever way you put it. I made it to 9 miles in a pathetic time. Its the farthest I've gone in so so so long. Without going into details, I am again very unfit for reasons other than just not running. Giving my background however, I will be back in a week. I promised myself to put in a 2-a-days atleast for this week.

I leave for Chinatown in an hour or so. There is nothing better to get to know a place than to go to a heritage part on an early weekend morning. There arent places like that left in Singapore anymore. It is a tea house, very dingy, no one speaks English or even Mandarin for that matter. All the stiff upper lips melt away when one put an effort to truly connect. Ultimately, all of us connect on a very basic level, no matter where you are from.

I connected today. I ran 2 of my 9 miles barefoot. I am truly happy when I can do away with all the trappings of "material". It has only been 7 hours of feeling this way. And my heart is already more open than it was yesterday :-)

Have a happy Sunday.

9 miles this am. Atleast another 3 this pm at some point.

I wanted to post this as well. In case anyone is going through this. I have boxes and boxes of stuff that I'm giving away - some old, some fairly new. I hate throwing things away, no matter how ratty they get. Its good to have comforts in your life - a television, music collection and nice clothes. It is this attempt to clean up that I feel the need to give some of it away. I am struck however, by how much baggage we collect as we move through life. How much this stuff weighs you down, how much all of this is useless if one is truly happy. There is much that weighs on my mind. What I would not give to go back to nothing but 20 books, a pen, piece and paper and the familiar tinker of a typewriter. It was called "goodnews" back in the day; perhaps for good reason by someone like me :-)

I need to think outside of myself a bit more. I am very unhappy when all I do is focus on me. The opportunity to do things are limited here, but they are there. And I'm trying. Giving things away make me less inclined to define myself through them. Its a first step. Does anyone want alot of crap? Its free :-)))

2 miles on a friday - how things change

Running - as an activity that I do, has been very sproadic lately. My last run, apart from this morning, was my last post. It was awhile ago. I think somewhere, I started to associate running with blogging and that was SO not the root of it. I need to find why I do it in the first place - and major life changes have shaken up the very core of me. Right now I blog so I feel closer to something farther away.

I will put this down today as a matter of fact. This blog is just that....about running and about something that comes quite naturally to me. If you have ever seen me - I have the temperament of a natural athlete in the sense that I dont ever give up. I am not physically gifted, but I am mentally strong - for the most part anyway. My very strange build for a girl and even stranger legs and feet meant that I was more suited to sport that didnt require much upper body strength. I have to talk alot so mixing a sport with my need to speak was never a stretch. However, few people think they know me through this blog - and that is completely not the case. I would like to think I more than a sum of a few words. What is sure is that I am intensely private and I hate divulging things about myself - at the best of times - so I write and because you read, does not mean you know me. I think I made my point.

I ran 2 miles today. in 35 minutes. I cringe but I am not ashamed. Learn this lesson from it - run for the reward of being able to feel your lungs fill up with air - as you feel love for being alive, run not for someone else, it should transcend an experience in your life, it should transcend time and space. Run for the joy it gives, not what you can get out of it. I think that should be a goal in life itself. I am learning this lesson myself - I know it instinctively when it comes to running; but its a work in progress to know it about other aspects.

It has been nearly a year since I started blogging, almost 10 years since I first started running - the motivation has never changed.

This ones for you!

I felt like Santa's little helper this morning. From a totally unmotivared beginning, I woke up to a light and grey morning. I once asked someone I adore "when does the quest end?", and I was answered with "when one stops looking and actually starts living". Since I first opened my eyes at 4.42 am, to the time we left home at 7.21am, I had this line in my head. Its amazing how something said in passing can stay with you long after the thought passes your lips (or pen :-)).

One of the most memorable runs of my life. Not because it was particularly fast or long; it was neither infact. I feel like it was one step in my quest for self- actualization.

Thanks to God. Thanks Singapore. Thanks my new home. I love it here :-)

I havent run longer than an hour since my last post. I dont feel strong physically at the moment. The month has taken a toll on my body, I will not hide this fact. I still feel joy for it in my heart - and that to me is most important.

Ran about 2.5 miles, took a 5-6 minute time out and went off for another 3 miles in 23 or minutes.

And the hits keep on coming!

My body is rebelling against running at the moment. Its a double-edged sword. I am super grumpy without physical activity and nothing is more physical than running. Somehow, I just seem to not be getting back into the groove. I still make myself do *something* 60 minutes a day - but thats nothing when one is used to putting in 12-13miles daily on average.

The body feels like its in pain. Constantly. If I really felt sorry for myself I would say that God is playing a cruel joke on me since this is what I love the most. But I know thats not the case. Hes simply saying to me that I can plan to run or do a race or any activity or all that I want, but hes got the final say. And right now he seems to say "Ha! Fat chance, Aditi, fat chance".

Anyway, I have done 2 5 miler's since my last post that have left me completely wiped out. Today was my longest workout which lasted 80 minutes. Nothing significant but its the most I've done for weeks. 6 miles followed by the most freezing 10 laps in the pool. How pathetic is that? I took almost 70 minutes to run 6 miles because 2 skinny dogs decided to accompany me and I walked with them for a bit. So hard to resist!

Its the end of the week here. Its overcast everyday so I take it as Asia's version of Christmas. Heehee! This is the time of year when people are generally on their best behavior. I am contemplating handing out candy canes on my run one of these days. I know I'd love sugar early in the morning and no one does that anymore. Watch out!

A hesitant comeback!

Not quite a dramatic comeback. This space has been very quiet lately and for good reason. I ran today for the second time in 25 days - outdoors. I made time on a treadmill 8 times. 7 in India and once elsewhere. I also caused 2 treadmills to break down - who knew one could overheat a treadmill when its on maximum??? I will have this story and much more in a few days :-)

12k in 50 minutes this morning. I want this to be happy - because this blog has been so grey for so long so I will leave you with a few things that I didnt know about myself.

French fries eaten in tandem with a Toblerone is comfort food (as are winter Eve apples with Chamomile tea)

I whine when I'm cold - *alot*.

I have the smallest feet on an adult female - and wearing the smallest available mountain boots, when they are still 2 sizes too big, and climbing 800 steep steps will leave your thighs aching for days - even though your a runner.

I have the worst memory of anyone I know.

I loathe make-up. This one is surprising. Spending 10days in the great outdoors and not wearing a speck of it is liberating. I can live without a mirror.

I can live without being "connected" but I cant live without a hairbrush.

That running in high altitude when its very very windy and cold makes me fall backwards because I dont have enough weight to support myself up.

I cry - *alot*

Brothers are the best!!

Rivers and its associated ramblings

Rivers have been the inspiration for poets, writers, lyricists, and musicians since man began scratching his ideas into stones.

When I was 10 years old, some of my most dramatic childhood memories were fertilized in and by the mouth of a nameless river in India. With my father, maternal Grandpa, and my brother by my side, I remember sand under my feet and laughter in my eyes. The taste of the crisp grilled cheese sandwiches and steamy tomato soup when we returned home, the memories are blackened into my mind.

When I was in 8th grade, just as I arrived in this strange place called Singapore, I leaned against the gym wall and dreamed of a cute boy working up the nerve to ask me to dance to the old Andy Williams’ romantic song, Moon River. It never happened.

Rivers are major symbols.

As I run by the water everyday, Life is usually perfect and clear on a river. I thought of life’s journey and the many rocks and other obstacles that sometimes upend our goals. The many creatures, predators and prey, toyed with my sense of justice.

It’s funny how a major statement of nature, a river, can crystallize and settle all of life’s big questions.

Where are we going?
Why the troubles?
Who are the victims?
What is the meaning?
How do we get there?

The river with its power, direction, velocity, and steady course answers those questions.

Water, reminds us, that this journey is eternal.

So much rambling - I apologize. This is what happens when an adrenaline junkie is forced to reduce mileage all week!! 12 pretty quick miles in 93 minutes this morning.

No whining - still sick and on medication that makes me very groggy and wanting to sleep (but somehow cant).

7+ very easy miles this am(actually, exactly 12 kms)

Ugh!!

Shame on me for trying to ignore what God's saying. I've had a few very strange months with weird acute injuries or illnesses popping up every week. Honestly, it feels like my body is breaking down. Mentally, I'm in it, I'm in the game. Physically, it's just not happening. I'll start with a little recap of the last few weeks and then get to the point!

I have been running through niggling tears in my hamstrings, pain in my knee, allergies after long runs and just overall blahness. The only thing that has kept me going is my heart (because in life, isnt it this that keeps us ALL going at the end of day?). I truly, insanely LOVE running and its the only thing that never betrays me and something I have alot of control over.

Case in point: I woke up this morning with a throat that felt completely closed. Yes Ladies and Gentlenman - I've lost my voice. I lay there for 10 minutes, wanting to bag it and just sleep. It didnt happen. No surprises, I feel like crap without my drug of choice. I tied my ponytail high and proud, put my 'lucky' shoes on and set off. 70 painful minutes later, I came back shivering and sweaty. Its been an hour and I sit here typing this with peppermint tea (with lots and lots ofgrated ginger), wearing a wooly jumper, hat, socks and I'm tempted to add gloves in my wardrobe - although,I think THAT would look slightly ridiculous :-) Oh yeah, did I mention I live in South East Asia???

Ummm...yeah...so thats it....70 minutes this am.

Character

Building Character

Character is a difficult word to define, so I am not going to try. Suffice to say, that having a strong character (rather than being a character) is an important life skill to develop.

My dad was very into character. At every turn in my childhood, he insisted that I make certain choices, which would help "build character." Poor guy. Both of us, unfortunately for him, were and most certainly are, characters. From breaking neighbor's prized vases, to taking our pet rats to the shopping center to scare patrons, to coercing unsuspecting neighbouring children to eat peanut butter mixed with freshly cut grass - heehee, this ones on me at age 14 .

So, my father took some very definite steps to assure that his characters would develop character. Here are some of the things he did:

1. He thought it was a grand idea for me to take on a job making coffee at 17. He especially liked the idea of my working $ 1.65 per hour with a grumpy old woman who bossed me around.

2. We all had very specific weekly household chores to do. My father believed that children who were not asked to do some work around the house, didn't have a true sense of belonging to a family. If the chores were not completed, we were grounded.

3. We had to be very respectful to all adults and had to call them Uncle and Aunty in addition to saying please and thank you. Even when "the neighborhood witch" would yell at us for walking we had to say we were sorry.

4. We had to write thank you notes to our grandparents, aunts, and uncles anytime they did something nice for us. With due respect to my mother, this was her idea. To this day, she writes thank you notes for thank you notes.

5. Dad insisted that we be exposed to the following activities: Sport, running, reading, talking, more sport.

Dad believed that even with our family focus on academic success and university goals, real character is often built in other ways.

And as I look back on my life, I must agree.

Thanks, Dad.

Sickly Tuesday

Its official. I am sick :-(.

I ran 4kms from home this morning to catch the early morning prayer session at the temple. My reason for this was also so I could pass my favorite $1 waffle stand when it first opens for some chow. And I did :-). The ladies at the stand are in a good mood first thing in the morning, and they spread an extra thick layer of peanut butter on my waffle and a free drizzle of chocolate. I was a very happy girl :-). I stopped off at the temple to say 'hello' before turning back home. All in all, it was 5.5miles that felt fairly fast. Also did 20 minutes on the stairs.

My calories have been as usual but I have lost an annoying 3lbs in a day. I think the unintended weight loss is making me feel worse. I constantly feel off balance (more than usual anyway :-)) and dizzy.

I have a lunch date with my favorite 63 year old today, so you can imagine my greedy self getting ready for a feast!!

I had my last meal at 10.30 am Sunday after which I embarked on a 10 miler around 11.30am in the heat. Needless to say, while yesterday's run was strong and awesome -I ran out of steam this morning.

I left at 4.40am and 5 miles into my run, I broke out into a cold sweat - very similar to the ones you get when you are coming down with a fever. I intended to go 24 miles this am, but instead cut it short to 16.5 in 140 minutes. I am a bit annoyed at myself:-(.

Swam 22 laps in the pool to cool off.

10 easy,slow miles yesterday. My right quad is sore so I'm staying off my legs most of the day.

Ate too much crap last night. Makes for good running fuel so will run in the afternoon. 10-12 easy miles in the sun(hopefully). A free tan to get brown(er!!).

Midweek Brick

Brick workouts are the most difficult. They are usually used by triathletes during training. Triathletes have more propotioned physiques than distance runners - obviously since they use all their muscle groups. I, on the other hand, am a very clumsy person. Correction! I walk without looking and have more than once tripped all over myself. Needless to say, I suck at riding a bike (unless you include a spinning class at the gym equivalent to 'bike riding' - I've done my share and I still look like an idiot - albeit a sweaty idiot). So I climb stairs instead. Its an excellent way for me to gauge how fit I am. If I can do an hour of stairs and a 10k run immediately afterwards, all is well with the world.

This is what went on today : 320 stair sprints with 3 stair skips. 63 minutes.
6.2 miles 45 minutes (tempo!)

Active recovery

Woke up the same time I usually do this morning - but ended up crawling back into bed with my Mum. It feels like Sunday when your 10 and its raining, your parents room is the most comfortable, warm and BIG!!

No run. No motivation and I'm not beating myself over it. Maybe just a little bit guilty for not going....but then I remind myself - I ran 23 miles yesterday damnit! I deserve the day off!

Its 6am and I have thoughts of fat spicy bratwursts and scrambled eggs doused in maple syrup swirling in my head - and that is what I will have. All this with 2 pieces of buttered white toast and a hot cup of peppermint tea - you know, for antioxidants. Yeah right!

Today's run was motivated by sheer joy and personal revelation. I have had a few profound set of evolutions in my inner space and I can describe it this way: bliss, home, peace. Thus, waking up this morning (even after a very long week including a few mornings of waking up at 3am!) was not a problem and I practically skipped my way down the road, almost giddy. It has been a bit hazy here in the mornings lately, but not enough to dampen my spirits. There was nothing in each moment but the sheer joy of being able to do what I love so dearly. All the mileage counts, running strategies, purpose, function just floated off in the ether. I just was. And how nice is that.

23 (with some change left over) miles this morning. My legs are pleasantly achy. I finished later than I usually do, the sun was strong earlier than usual, and I have myself a nice darker than usual coating. It took me *exactly* three hours.

I am just going to jot down my workouts from my log. Havent got time for much else. I will post something more substantial tomorrow.

Saturday was 5.5 uninspiring miles. I dont remember anything except running in the rain. Its no fun when you are aware of every ache in your body. Saturday night was a night of a bit too much consumption in the form of whiskey. Moderation doesnt exist in my universe so like most things, it was excessive moderation. And it was fun! Needless to say, I didnt run Sunday and ate too much! I should add that I went to a TCM (traditional chinese medicine) doctor on friday night to see if he had any insights on why I couldnt sleep. He fiddled with my neck, twisted it twice (I couldnt stop laughing, and made him very giggly too) and said it was fixed and I'd be able to sleep well soon. Hmmm, I dont know what he was on about because after that I havent been able to sleep AT all!! Grrrrr....!

Anyway, this post is full of randomness so I will sign off after reporting this morning's brick : 500 double (1000 single) sprints on the stairs. This was fun - I skipped 3 stairs at a time in 100 minutes. Ended with 20 laps in the pool.

This was fun!

350 double speedy sprints on the stairs - 63 minutes
16 repeats of 100m (a timed mile 6.20)
32 laps in the pool (just over a mile) 23 minutes.

Take a deep breath and just do it!

I was out there for 2 hours and 40minutes this morning. I went through a ton of emotions - it started to pour so heavily this morning. It was windy and gusty and the lightning was scary. I ran in the rain for 7 miles before I was literally being swept off my feet by the wind. I run by the water most mornings so there isnt much place to hide. I was soaked to the bone and could not stop shivering. I ended up stopping for 40 minutes under a shelter nearby. There was a very kind man who was a worker of some sort who ended up keeping me company and making small talk. I was thankful to have him around - it was 4am and I think he sensed that I was uncomfortable being alone - he even offered me his mobile to make a phonecall. Very very nice.

I prayed out there on the run this morning. I prayed a lot, after a while, prayer came naturally and in rhythm with my breath. I also just let go and gave it over to God. And my last 5 miles were my strongest. As I ran them at 10K race pace and felt my body fatigue and my breathing get really rapid. I thought, "This is what it's all about. This is what God has made my body capable of doing. Use it." I was so happy after the run. I was beaming. It is one of those days where I am hyper aware of everything and everyone around me. There is so much beauty in the world if you know where to look for it. Life can indeed be beautiful, if you give it a chance (even if its only for a few minutes)!
Just over 14 miles.

(Logged in 7.5 miles in 63 minutes yesterday at noon)

Food, food, food, food!!!

I could not sleep last night AT all! What is it that occupied my head space, you ask? Well, food...I know...I know....

Anyone who knows me, knows how obsessed I am with food. I think most runners are. Our lives revolve around how food affects our stomach, how long to run after food, what food to eat/avoid before a long run, what causes our stomach's to churn, etc etc. Most of us also have insatiable appetites. I am always hungry. I went through a phase a few years ago when I did not know when I was hungry - and a result of which I lost too much weight and looked absolutely awful. On top of that I was a vegetarian. Yes, you can all laugh since those were the saddest days of my life (no joke!!). Aditi without bacon and joy of fatty, spicy pork is a very very sad girl. Life, for me, is a journey of inclusion rather than exclusion, especially when it comes to food.

Anyway, at about 9pm yesterday, I decided I was too hungry to sleep and it was too late to eat since I badly wanted to have a good run this am (yes, I like running a little more than I like food and besides, I hate eating unless I have run before). I jumped out of bed all happy at 2am because it was FINALLY a reasonable (!!) hour to run and I could FINALLY eat after my workout. My legs were springy for once so I took advantage of it and did a tempo run. Goodtimes, all my nervous energy was channeled into it this morning and now my mind is still.

Here it is - try it if you want but I should warn you - if you truly are honest with yourself and do this "all-out", it will leave you breathing very hard but it feels great afterwards. I know I do, except my face is going to be flushed all day - small price to pay :-)

3 mile warm-up - 25 minutes
3 mile tempo (not quite all-out) 22 minutes
8 by 200 metres (1 mile) 6.24 minutes
500m slow recovery jog.
10 by 70 metres intervals.
1.5 mile cool-down.

Food tastes so good when it is earned in this way :-)
I should add, this post is written with Nutella being eaten straight from its jar while I decide what to eat for breakfast.

Happy Diwali!

Passion

Everything in life affects my running and so I am trying to put my focus towards my passions. I have been struggling lately with feeling stressed, pulled in many directions, feeling unsettled and having too much on my plate. It has denied me a great deal of the pleasure I get from my passions because I am so crunched that I am literally running through life. I realized last week and this week, that I must "slow down" mentally especially and be back in the moment so that my passions can bring to my life what they have and what they can. They are my sanctuary, they are my joy. I am so glad to be reconnected with that. Instead of focusing on the things that I have to do or stressing about them, I am drawing the line and putting the joy back in my passions. I have been anxious about alot in life lately and it has made me feel like running for the hills, but instead of running for the hills proverbially, I am literally running in the hills to let it all go. I am finally finding a bit of reprieve. This is the reason why I have started running long again lately. I am so blessed that all I need is my feet to feel whole again.

Not an exceptional run this am AT all. Its a public holiday here and it was too crowded - too many people being obnoxious this morning (one very stoopid boy tried to run alongside me - *rolls eyes*)

Just 11 miles this am - took 2 walk breaks because I just did.not.want.to.go.on!

Felt like a huge whale this morning. 2 hours later, I feel a little bit more normal.

450 stair sprints. 90 minutes
47 freezing minutes in the pool. I havent had a nice long swim in a while and I definately felt it - swimming fitness is so different from running fitness. I never quite got comfortable in the water - it was much too cold and now I have a runny nose - *great*! 60 laps.

Singapore randomness

Today is an off day - in more ways than one. It is also a day where I dont plan on leaving the house and want to be in jammies *all* day. The last bit never happens - since I am always showered and "proper" before 7am!

Its a nice raining, gloomy Saturday - all things that make me feel fuzzy inside. My thoughts turn to this city that incurs my wrath whenever I get moody. Bottomline though : I like Singapore. Not because of any particular reason, but this is the city that has given me SO much. I truly believe that you recieve whatever you give in return and the people here have been nothing but kind and generous. I have never encountered rudeness or mean-ness in this city as a whole. We quite literally are in the middle of South East Asia. To juxtapose the fact that this is our region together, we are so different and yet so similar. There is a sense in this city that you are surrounded by so many countries - it is a feeling totally lacking in my "other" home of Australia (and I dont even want to think about how lonely the kiwis feel). I havent come to any firm conclusions on this, which is a good thing. I think "love" is too a strong word to be used for Singapore. The highest state one can reach here is that of "comfort" - it is comfortable.

Anyway, let us bow our heads to the cool air that graces our cheeks this morning. And a huge thank you to my legs for giving me a day off :-)

Thursday: 450 stair sprints

Friday: 8 miles easy.

Wednesday long.

Tuesday: 5 miles.
Wednesday: 22 miles @ 2hrs and 49 minutes on the dot.

For the past 4 long runs, this is what I have been doing differently and it has been working. I carbo-load 2 nights prior to the long run, as opposed to the night before. I run best when I 'carry' 4 lbs of water-weight (weight I usually 'lose' after the run). I also can only afford to lose no more than 5lbs on the run - anymore than this and I am totally dehydrated. I also have been diluting about 2 litres of juice with water and drink that 24- 36 hours before my run. I have also not 'bonked' on any of these runs and feel strong to the finish. I should add that I dont drink water in the middle of my runs, or ingest carbs. This goes against what most people are taught to do, but its just something I never got into the habit of doing. I took no walk breaks this morning.

May we all strive to do something today solely on the strength of our legs and the courage of our lungs. I try and do this to the best of my ability.

Here is what has gone down for the last 2 days.

Sunday: 300 stair sprints. 60 mins
3 mile run/walk/waddling with a stray dog.

Monday: 6 miles. 45 minutes.
100 stair sprints
25 laps in the pool in 14 minutes. This was a mile.

(My watch recorded this as 9 miles because I forgot to change the settings)

Perspective on a Saturday Morning somewhere along the streets in Singapore...

Blessed are we who suffer, for we are the lucky ones.

I was running today in peace that only comes on a weekend morning, running the first 5 miles of my usual weekend 12-miler, and I was struck by something strong enough to pull me out of my blogging silence. I was tired, my body was working hard to keep on the pace I was pushing it, I was trying to push myself, to suffer a bit. As I came up a shallow hill (Singapore standards), I saw another runner approaching, shirt off, running smoothly down the trail ahead of him, not fast but not slow either. He looked to be about mid-50s, healthy, vibrant. When we were nearly to one another I noticed that in his chest, just about his heart, pressing out under the skin was a pacemaker. I went around the corner before I allowed myself a reaction. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but I was overwhelmed by one simple thought. Gosh, we're lucky. We runners, we distance runners, endurance athletes, elites and everyone in between. It was one of those moments where I was suddenly filled with graciousness to be able to go out day after day and push myself, work hard and suffer. Here I mean suffering like we do, whether it is the final 5 miles of a 21 miler or like today, running mile 11.5 @ approximately 8/mile hr pace. It is beautiful. That man, whoever he was, was running for his life, literally. And we, each in our own way, are too. Whether it is physically, emotionally, mentally, the things we experience as we plod, sprint, cruise, crawl, bound along seep out into our lives. It changes our lives, it can't not. I carried my body through the streets, with a smile on my face and pushed myself with the joy of someone who at least for a moment, understands suffering and that when it is chosen like this, how much it brings to our lives.

I have been putting a half-hearted effort with the posts lately, so I thought I'd spend a little more than 3 minutes posting something up.

11.5 fairly speedy miles. A happy morning, FINALLY!!

21 miles from 4.18am to 7.17am.
30 laps in the pool to cool off - 1 mile.

I feel comfortably numb. Goodtimes!

Heart of Darkness

Wednesday morning - I have yet to leave. It feels like I am perpetually running into the heart of darkness, and its a feeling I find comforting. I had Joseph Conrad's book in my head all of last night (forgive me, but yes, these are the things that keep me from falling asleep). Someone dear to me left for Africa at a very young age - I mean, who does that?! :-) I still go back and read Conrad since I first read this as an 15 year old. It is alot more nuanced than I gave it credit for, although it still has the ability to transport me into an entirely different world.

Sometimes, it is easier to get lost in a book and see your life through those characters when you dont want to face up to your own reality. Music, can do the same.

I want to run in the middle of the day since I have to go somewhere and dont feel like being stuck in traffic. If you see an odd-looking girl with a super high pony tail and a red backpack wearing a "hug a runner tee-shirt", come say hi! It looks like its going to another scorcher.

6-8 miles today. I lost 2 toe nails the other day. I also am down one white tee shirt that needs replacement - it was soaked in blood after the last run and the area that bled has formed scabs so I dont want to irritate it by running long today.

Chicago

I was in New York this time last year. I was forced indoors and only managed to run 3 miles for 3 weeks. It was a difficult time where running was concerned, but forced lay-offs like that make me love it even more. I remember arriving back to Singapore after my 'vacation' and the first thing I did after my 18hr flight? You guessed it, I went for a run and actually *enjoyed* the humidity. A few months later in January, I registered for the Chicago Marathon. I dont know why, but Chicago is my dream city and it'd be great to run through the city with all those people. The marathon course is beyond beautiful and very flat - you are guaranteed a fast time (although lately the unseasonal Chicago heat has everyone up in arms. It'd be a walk in the park for anyone who trains in the atrocious humidity we have in Singapore!!!!)

I am not running today. It is my day of doing nothing and eating like a normal person without feeling guilty about inactivity. I am not quite sure what this post is about - I was supposed to be in Chicago running the marathon. I was meant to run in New York in November too. Oh well...such is life. Maybe the coming winter in America makes me wish I could experience it too.

It is marathon season for the next 2-3 months. I just need to make sure I'm not stuck at mile 24 anymore.

Pain, love and danger keeps you real!

To borrow a line from Dickens' "Tale of two Cities," I'd have to title this post "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times." I won't quote the entire paragraph, but suffice to say, this describes my state of mind at the moment. I have had some pretty strong runs lately. It has been 6 days since I posted so an update: 10k followed by strides, 5k followed by 300 stair sprints, 8.56 miles, a craptastic 3.7 miles followed by 30 laps in the pool. These 3.7 miles clocked in yesterday was one of the worst runs I've had this year - I broke out into an awful rash which caused my left side to swell up. This happened almost immediately after I started. I sucked it up for 30 minutes before leaving with my tail between my legs.
19 miles this am. 18 miles in 155 minutes. Walked the last mile home in 20 minutes.

Quick updates.

Saturday: 13.7 miles
Sunday: 10 mile tempo followed by 35 laps in the pool.
Monday: unintended rest day.

Tuesday/this morning: 18 mile LSD. I didnt stop once, slowed down about 4 miles from home and picked up the pace the last mile. I finished in 160 minutes (2hrs 39 minutes to be precise). I ran till Terminal 2 and watched the first flights land this morning. I caught sight of the mighty ugly A380 returning from Sydney at around 5.45am. I love running by Changi - not a soul in sight!

A list of Two's.

I am a list-maker. I think most athletes are. I make lists of lists. Its just one of the many quirks that make me wonderful (and we can all now collectively roll our eyes). As my day started in the pouring rain this early am, I thought of 2 that are of utmost importance.

Number 1. Honesty, honesty, honesty. If we cannot be honest with ourselves then we are doomed to fail from the beginning. There is nothing that can halt progress faster than the inability to be honest with ourselves. As George Costanza says in one episode of Seinfeld "Remember Jerry , its not a lie if you believe it". Well, as sad as that may seem that we can come really close to living exactly like that. I know that I have gone months at a time telling myself that everything was just fine when it was far from the truth. I have been known to justify bad decision after bad decision because of my refusal to take a deep, hard look at the truth of what my life had become.

Number 2. Loss of one self is important too. Not in the terms of Eminem, but in the context of losing yourself to a higher power - whatever that means in the context of your life. I must die everyday so that God can live in me. There is a verse in the Bible that always comes to my mind during times like these and it ends with this: "...For what good is it that a man gains the world, yet loses his soul?" Over the past couple of years, I have been very convicted about the things that I find comfort, fulfillment and safety in. God has been continually tugging at my heart about what real spirituality should look like - "blessed are the poor in spirit" - its the broken, the weak, the lost and the hurting that I should bring my full energies into looking after. What difference am I making if all I care about are my own needs and desires. What kind of of a human being does that make me?

I am continuing to learn that life is not supposed to be about cul-de-sac comfort. This journey is supposed to be uncomfortable. It should hurt. It should pain you and cause you sorrow because you see so much hurt and discomfort around you. This is not a rant directed at anyone else except myself. I long to see my life slip away as the life of something higher than myself takes over who I am.

260 stair sprints
3.1 miles
30 laps in the pool.

I am spent.

No rules, no expectations, just the road and I spending some time together.

Wednesday: 450 stair sprints. 5km run.
Today: easy 12 miles

A most glorious run this morning. We had much needed rain yesterday afternoon which helped cool things off *alot*. I ran my usual out-and-back 12-mile route. 1.5 mile away from home, I bumped into my mother and we walked back. This is perhaps the only opportunity we get to speak - the truest time of the day.

A strong run that I would have finished in 95 minutes. I walked with her so it took an hour and 54 minutes.
30 laps in very warm water.

I slept a grand totaly of 4 hours last night. I also 'slept in' - till 7am. Woke up to the sound of the brat that lives above me - one of the reasons I cant stand boys between the ages of 3- well...heehee 30!

Managed just 20 miutes on the stairs to get the blood flowing but my legs felt like lead. Since it is Monday - it can only mean sushi!

Have a good week

Nocello.

...and this...is one of the top 10 reasons to run!
I had one spoonful (I use one of those HUGE ice cream scoops and call it 'just a tablespoon' - same with peanut butter) before running this morning. 8 miles followed by 35 laps in the pool.

I just know its going to be a great day!

Cope.

This is what the past few hours have been about - I dont ever want to come across to people as some religious nut. If I am completely honest, I have so many doubts about what I believe that I wonder if I believe in anything at all. I guess thats why people call it Faith. I've had too many undefinable experiences in my life to not see what I would describe as the hand of God. The intensity of emotions I sometimes feel, those feelings, one can only feel, because of the hand of God. The stars, the sunrise (something I dont miss out on), nature around us, is the hand of God.
However, what about those people who are not fortunate enough to wake up to a peaceful sunrise, who wake up war and violence - do they not see the hand of God? If they dont see it from the horrific life they are forced to live, how are they ever going to see it?

It doesnt seem fair that I have it so easy - to wake up, go for a safe run, eat breakfast, take public transportation without a care in the world, eat whatever I want for lunch, be surrounded by people who love me, and then sit around at the end of the day thinking about how good God is. Life can be so easy for anyone who chooses to make it that - it just doesnt seem fair. We can live in our self-involved fantasy world that about 1% of the population actually gets to experience and then talk about our "faith". I dont have an answer for myself today unfortunately. All I have are questions.

370 stair repeats
30 minute run (no idea how far this was)
22 laps in the pool.

Character-building

My worst nightmare came true today - being over 6 miles away from home, pitch dark, too much lightning, too rainy to see ahead with dogs moaning. I was supposed to do a slow long-ish run today and it turned out to be a 13 miles tempo!

The first 5 or so miles were ok - humid and still and it didnt look like it would rain. Mile 5 to 6, it drizzled a bit but I didnt mind. After that though, the heavens gave out with a vengence. I tried running through it,couldnt concentrate and had too much water in my eyes so stopped for shelter for 10 or so minutes. It did not look like it would stop anytime soon, so I did what made the most sense to me at the time - I ran. Correction, I sprinted as fast as I could and in the bargain set a PR for 10.5kms - just over 40 minutes. My PR for a 10k was set a year ago when I returned from New York, that I won and it was just over 41 minutes. I was also 10lbs lighter then and had not run for over 2 weeks.

I did feel like I was in a race since there were many many people who took shelter - I even got a few claps. I am such a wuss when it comes to lightning, so this was surprising even to me.

No soreness right now, but I am freezing!!

7 Chapters in a long run.

Chapter 1: The First 15 Minutes

I feel like crap. I ate too much too soon before running. I think I might have to poop again. My sunglasses aren’t comfortable. I should have never worn these shorts. How am I going to run 23 miles today when I don’t feel like I could even make it back home from where I am now?

Chapter 2: The Next 75 minutes

I love running. It‘s so awesome to be out running while everyone else is still asleep. I love hearing nothing but the birds waking up. I feel like I could run forever today. I’m so glad I’m in such great shape. I am going to rock this marathon in 3 weeks. Ryan Hall’s got nothing on me.

Chapter 3: 90 mins in

I wonder what my pace is. I’d better ease off a bit. Crap - I’m just barely half-way done. What happens if I don’t have enough to finish? I have to pee so freakin’ bad. Where did I stick my next water-bottle again? Nice turn-signal buddy. I hate drivers. Oh great - the sweet smell of fresh farm fertilizer *rolls eyes*

Chapter 4: Crossing into the 3rd hour

How long have I’ve been running? An hour and 50 mins.

How about now? An hour and 53 mins. Okay - I won’t check my watch again for awhile.

How about now? An hour and 57 mins.

Chapter 5: 7 miles to go

You know, I really do feel pretty good. I think I’m gonna be alright today. Maybe I can even kick in the last few miles. I read about that recently. What did they call that? Progression run, right? Yeah - I’ll tell everyone how I did my long run as a “progression run”. Just like the Hanson runners. I should start something like that out here. I’ll open a running shoe store and design workouts for people. It’ll be huge! I can’t wait to tell Dad and Mix about this idea!

Chapter 6: The last 3 miles

Okay - time to pick it up. Remember - it’s a Progression Run. Training like the pro’s! That’s me. Wow - this is tough. Do I have to run hard the whole 3 miles? Okay just suck it up. Suck it Princess – relentless forward motion “My time is now! I’m coming alive!” Okay - no more looking at the watch until I finish. Crap - I just looked again. Okay no more checking starting now. Crap - checked again.

Chapter 7 - The Finish

Yeah baby - 23 miles. I rule. Hey – I see my neighbour walking his dog. If I walk by maybe he’ll ask me how far I ran. Shoot - he went inside the lift. I’ll keep walking and then turn around and walk by again. He’ll be so impressed when I tell him how far I ran. Crap – he didnt hold the lift door for me!! Grrr....

Speed play

Gosh! I was SO nervous before this morning's run. Downed 1/4 cup of the thickest cup of coffee before leaving - needed extra confidence that I could go as fast as I wanted to. Ended up finishing 7.8 miles in 60 minutes. I knew I was spent when my hair was soaked with sweat. I couldve gone further but I was dying for a swim! You know you went fast enough when you are nauseous after a speedy session. And boy do I feel it now!

7.8 miles included 2 miles of back and forth sprints along a 100m track.
22 laps in the pool.

My new mantra seems to be "suck it up princess" - I say this alot when it gets uncomfortable - day 2 of my dont-hold-anything-back-routine. I almost lost it 2 times this morning - one just after 6 miles and the second time was 1 mile away from home. Mile 6, I thought "dang it, its hot...I am so far away, etc etc". I hate being so fragile! Anyway, got it done, and the discomfort for 30 or so minutes does not compare to the sense of satisfaction that I went further today than I have in awhile. There used to be a time when I could crank out 20 miles without a second thought - I just havent done big mileage in SO long and fear has set in. It needs to go....it needs to go....

15.5 miles this am. It took me 130 minutes. I jogged/walked barefoot in the grass for 5 minutes after just to cool down.

Triple play and hydration.

The heat annoys me - my face looks constantly flushed, especially after for a few hours after a workout and doesnt dissapate till the end of the day! I did not run yesterday - did nothing in fact. All the accumalated aches and pains surface when one takes a day off. I watered down 2 litres (yes, you read that right) of mango juice and drank that the entire day instead of water. I also ate alot of Asian food doused in soy sauce because I lose 6-7 lbs in water every single run - this is no good - dehydration is a recipe for disaster! It paid off for my workout this morning. Something that usually should take 150 minutes, took me only 120 minutes. Good times!
1200 single (600 double) stair repeats with all the windows shut.
15 repeats of 500m. 7 kms - just over 4 miles.
30 lap swim. (this took me 20 minutes)

I have become too complacent and comfortable with my routine. I have become too safe - even as a person - that isnt me AT all. I have fear even when I run nowadays - this is me being completely honest with myself and something I hate admitting. When I run "safe", my thought process is "safe". I'm not going to be that person - no way. From this day on, I am going to be braver, a little less fearful and a little kinder - to myself.

I took an anti-inflammatory 2 nights ago and it has helped with the soreness I felt after the massage. It would be infitinately better if I just took a week or so off. I always intend to - just never get around to doing it. Ran 9 miles yesterday am.

This morning was strong - the late fuel last night must have helped - I dont usually like eating that late and then running the next day. Anyway...

1000 single stair repeats (500 doubles). I looked like I had a shower at the end of it!
Just a touch under 6kms to loosen up the legs after.

Monday

I read something this morning while getting ready to run - an article at the Little Rock Marathon where a 26year old runner died after crossing the finish line. The cause of death is unknown - could be heart problems (alot of endurance athletes suffer from Arhythmia - and dont even know it!), dehydration, other impairments. Majority, if not all distance runners have to deal with aches and pains that come with pushing your body through grueling training. It is also what makes it so wonderful!

It is scary though. The kid is my age. I am amazed that he could make it to the finish line without collapsing prior. For a few mornings now, with the dreary weather I usually wake up to, I actually thought about dying while running. This was before I read the article. I was running in the middle of nowhere and thought "What if my body or heart just gave out?". I would be screwed. No one knows I am out here. I dont leave a note of my route because its something I decide when I step out. But thats what I like - the SOLITUDE. I would rather be running in solitude before eventually going into eternal solitude, then I could say I went out doing something I love doing. I am in pretty good shape but this news was pretty startling. Of course, one could also die crossing the street or getting into a car - however, they are so commonplace today that they dont have an effect on us, unless we have some connection to the person.

Anyway, I got a massage yesterday after a very very long time and the stocky 180lb guy dug his entire elbow into my hamstrings and lower back. Goodtimes! I slept like a baby for a whole 6 hours! Woke up sore but managed 7.7 miles this am in a pathetically slow time but enjoyed it totally.

Its threatening to rain again :-)

Clocked in 300 stair repeats and a 5km run, followed by 25 laps in the pool yesterday. The water was so cold and it felt great for a couple of hours after. However, I dont think my immune system is very strong at the moment because I keep getting icky this week. Now I have the beginning of the flu. The best remedy? If the symptons are all above the neck, then sweat it out - if its body ache - sweat out a minimum of 3 miles :-)

I woke up after an hour of 'going-to-bed' - very irritating! My legs and feet; more sore and achy than usual, carried me through a really strong 10.5 miles this morning.

It took 80 minutes.

We wear many "hats" in our lives. For some people, their work defines them. You dont have to guess what defines me.

If you've ever been prevented from doing something you love doing, you know the depression that comes along with it. I am a very different person when I run. I think it was Bill Bowerman who once said that a distance runner is an artist. It is true for me. I find that I can express myself the best during those few hours every morning. I feel like if I push through bad patches during a run, I can do anything, and if *that* can be accomplished, then anything can. I have always believed that. Right now, I'm not so sure. I am more confused than ever. I think I'm waiting for some sort of bell to ring, like it makes a silver lining on a cloud. Dang it! I dont know!

13 miles @ 3am.

I have been running ridiculously early (or late) again. I used to put in miles at midnight or in the middle of night a few years ago but I avoid doing it now that I live at home - it makes everyone very uncomfortable and leads to alot of arguments. Anyway, I left at 1.30am. It seems so silly to sneak out of the house for a run. It is just so nice and quiet and all I hear is the sound of crickets. The humidity here means everything is still.

My thoughts at times like these always turn to winter - by far my favorite season. I have been told that winter signifies death and that to like it I must be fascinated by death. I dont think thats it. Winter is also a time for renewal, a necessary time for things to die down before new life in the spring. Perhaps I like solitude and the fact that no one leaves home in the winter - and theres nothing nicer than running with an undulating road ahead of you and nothing and no one to be seen miles and miles ahead.

I dont know why I bring this up since its far from cold here. I miss seasons!
Just under 12 miles (actually,I clipped it at 19kms)this am in 1.40.
600m strides - I look so ridiculous doing these but they have been getting easier.
25 laps in the pool.

Sick miles.

I have sicker than a dog the past few days. I have also had to take 2 days off. Either of these things on their own is ok, but put them together and you get a very grumpy runner. I cant remember the last time I took 2 days off. I have what I call 'restless leg syndrome' and there is NO way I wouldnt have run this morning - for my sanity mostly. The bad thing is that you are so raring to go and run, that you overestimate how strong you are. I went too far and too long and feel great. So great in fact that I will log in 3-4 slow ones at some point this afternoon/evening, depending upon the availability of showers.

11 slow miles at 2am. I walked 10 minutes after my run so I wouldnt cramp up.
20 freezing laps in the pool.
3-4 this pm (not logged in yet)

Porridge is the best recovery food.period.

Grrr....

Often I run/walk/travel by my old school - a popular International School in Paterson Road. This morning, I saw a student who's name I swear is Shanique (no offense, its like the unclassiest name!) who was wearing pyjamas (to school!!!) with the innocuous '69' sprawled on her bottom. Being the smartass I am, I asked her what it meant and why she wrote on her pants. My exact words were "is this a project for Algebra". I hope I embarrassed her enough - no one should be doing that!!!

Anyway, I think runners are part-time coke (not the drink) addicts. When we dont get our "fix" we get pissy and annoyed as attested to my little rant above.

I am not running today I dont think. I did put in 12 miles yesterday though.

Me.

Excuse the blurriness. It works in this context.This picture pretty much describes me in one good snapshot. It helps that it was taken by someone who always manages to get my eyes to smile. We were in a place of worship and I'm not quite sure what I was laughing at - I'm sure I said something totally inappropriate for the temple! The person taking the picture laughs the hardest at my inane sense of humour though. This is something I am very familiar with. I am a storyteller. My life is nothing but stories, most humorous, few serious, but overall life is a huge laugh to me. Now dont me wrong, I take life seriously, way too much sometimes in fact. I dont take life for granted, rather I try and make the most of it while I can. I would rather die limping with every ounce of energy spent and thinking 'what a ride', rather than tip-toeing through the rest of my life in a well preserved body! All of my stories are 100% accurate and everything I say is the God honest truth. My greatest joy is discussing my own situations to get a laugh out of someone. As they say "every picture tells a story...".

I havent run yet. Plan to run in the middle of the day with alot of caffine - I like doing this once in awhile. 6-10 miles. Havent decided yet. It is beautiful at this time though. Just finished raining so everything smells sterile and grassy. Just want the humidity to lessen a bit.

Putting things in perspective

All of yesterday, I had the feeling that this date was important. It was a nagging feeling I had all day and it.just.wouldnt.go.away. It wasnt anyone's birthday and I dont really wish people for anything anyway - I didnt get it. Then I got an email from a friend reminding me that it was the first year death anniversary of a mutual friend. Now, let me preface this by saying I did not really know this mutual friend - far more people are deserving of empathetic concern than an acquaintance. But I did know her, and she always joked with me when I initially started running. She usually got back drunk when I left in the morning to get my miles in (and sometimes in the afternoon, and sometimes in the evening...you get my point). She passed away in a car accident. Alcohol was involved.

Now this got me thinking. I am not a saint. Far from one. If my family knew half the stuff I have done, they would be in denial. I've been in a car with someone who has drunk before. Not proud of it. Alot of people have, but at the time we arent really concerned what could happen. It got me thinking of how many I've known or havent known because of careless accidents like this. It isnt worth it, I think. Scratch that, I KNOW it isnt worth it. Sad to say, but it takes little things like these to put your life into perspective. I go over all the decisions I have made in my life, think about my regrets and broken promises, and wonder about the what-ifs. I used to say "expectations lead to disappointments". I had no idea what I was talking about. Expectations are what fuel the future and bring about happiness when fulfilled. Everyone says live your life to the fullest, dont hold back. We all hold back though, some hold on, and others just let go. Thats my zen philosophy for the day.

Running! I decided to do something different today - I felt so yuck after a drink last night (it isnt fair that I hardly tolerate alcohol and when I do - I get sick!!!!) and could.not.sleep. Finally, I knew I would be miserable if I didnt atleast run 10kms but I couldnt bear the thought of the same old route. YAWN! So instead of turning right like I always do, I turned left. I came across a park near my place (about a mile or so away) that I hadnt seen before which is a little steep. Perfect! I ran well and strong and so glad I could go out - a cool but very humid morning. I stopped for 5 minutes to sit down, look at the sky and do a quick prayer - I am so lucky to be able to do something that makes me feel instantly better that doesnt involve anything more than my own body. I left my watch home, no route markers and was back home within 55 minutes (including my pit stop). Not bad at all - I wanted a 10k and more or less got it. However! I feel a scratchy, cruddy throat coming up which is SO annoying!

Anyway, it is a good morning :-)

Miles

Clocked in 10.65 miles yesterday followed by a nice 20 lap swim. My legs were toast.

This morning turned out like this : 290 stairs - fairly quick followed by 4.5 miles. I wanted to swim after but decided against it. If it isnt farily obvious, its harder for me to scale back than it is to get the work done.

In celebration of balance, I am working on upping my hydration this evening in one of the Quays. The first hour of these events is always exciting, after that, all I crave for is some quiet followed by a run.

I guess distance running attracts a certain type of person, essentially a social hermit and solitude seeker; and also someone who doesnt crave affection or attention.

This is really lame but I was clicking pictures of my feet because they are just so strange and knarly, I came across this picture of baby feet. The first thing to come to mind when I looked at them was to wonder about the possibilities of where these feet will go in the next 70 years. This is where we all started. Wonderful!

I have had some strong runs lately.
14 miles Saturday/50 laps in the pool.
10.5 miles Sunday
6 mile Fartlek (shorter speed bursts that I absolutely suck at - but they feel great when they finish) and 150 stair repeats/ 20 laps in the pool.

The crunch of dirt, the firmness of the asphalt and the unyielding nature of cement, underneath my shoes on my favorite trail, give me a sense of security, alot more than real life sometimes.

Lesson: wear socks when you run marathon's in humidity - preferably thorlos :-)

I didnt write this down yesterday but I did not run and did 4000 yards in the pool instead.

I woke up feeling like death this morning and almost bagged it. Running always feels better after it is done - it is true! I drank 10 ounces of super super strong tea with a bit of sugar - very much like the ones you get on the roadside in Delhi, except this was spiked by a thousand when it comes to caffine. It worked! I had a super fast 10.5 miles this morning. I felt so brave that I attempted to do something I've only ever read about but never done - knee and butt kicks. Apparently they strengthen and lengthen your running stride. I could only manage them for 800m before dying. I am not kidding - they are HARD!

I will do them everyday religiously and increase it to atleast a mile. This may take time - I have no background in soccer or sprinting, so they are totally out of my comfort zone. They do help make you a better runner though.

Racing.

I had one of the best couple of hours of my life on Sunday morning. Getting me all excited isnt very hard - just give me candy and I'm generally a happy girl - but getting someones eyes to smile is truly special. The weather here has been so beautiful lately, it is also one of the first times my mother saw me run, even though I have been doing it since I was 19.

Run your race. Your own race, for you, and no one else. Running is where I get my thinking done. It is how I plan my life. Running cannot give us answers. It does however, give us immense faith in our answers. Faith in ourselves, to our own version of a higher power and faith in our love for others. Dont run a certain trail or race because its comfortable or because you are afraid to go off the beaten path. Take a chance, a leap of faith, maybe you will end up being in a place you never thought you would be - WINNING!

I ran 21kms (13 miles) and 3 miles yesterday (5km - very slow). I admit, I was chasing a "high" today - I only planned to go out for 10, but felt so good that ended up doubling. This is totally my bad - my knee :-((((!!

Running on empty

I have been running - just not logging them in. I have run a 19 miler, rest day, 15 miler, 12 miler, 6, 7 milers between my last blog and this morning. I havent run yet; I will in a few hours because I want to run in the heat.

I would give anything to be dehydrated and drenched in sweat, I want to start too fast and end my run thinking I am going to vomit. It is one of those days when running is the only answer. A run where you go all out and leave everything you have in a sweaty pair of shoes. If shoes could talk, what would they say? Mine would say, "Lose 5lbs please" - heehee, just kidding!

There are a few things I dont blog about. My work and Relationships. I am not allowed to blog about my work. I live in Singapore and work for a National University. Enough said! I do love doing what I do, but I dont want to say anything even candidly that could be taken the wrong way.

And relationships, those tangled webs we weave. I've been with people I have loved and many people I've wondered what the heck I was doing with them. Writing is an escape mechanism that makes me feel better besides running. Running feels good. Thats all that counts in reality, I guess. We dont run for anyone else, we run for ourselves. We might run for our self for a cause in someone else's name, but truly we do it for us.

My relationships are like races. I start out slow, too cautious, go way too fast in the middle and then hope to God I can hold on till the end. Usually, I die at the end and spend the next few days evaluating what I could have done differently. Thats the thing, the majority of our races are not our best ones. But there is always that one race where everything clicks and falls right into place - as someone keeps reminding me "its as if the stars lined up for you Aditi" - where everything just falls into place and the clyinders just click. Relationships-wise, Ive had my share of fast 5k's. The marathons, oh boy, the marathons - they are the ones that hurt the most. As Bill Rogers said "the marathon can humble you". Quite possibly, they hurt the most important muscle you have - the heart. The muscle that helps you take a breath and think a thought. You cant win every marathon, but eventually you can turn that marathon into an ultra you spend the rest of your life training for. You know that person will be at every water stop cheering for you and at every aid station willing you on, and will eventually be waiting for you at the finish line.

18 long ones this am in 156 minutes - not bad at all. This was just over 30 kilometres.

Got rained in for 10 or so miles - felt gorgeous. The temps were in the mid 20's. Could use more of these! Thank you!

Olive Grove Facing the Sea...

Try to listen to music every day. I am listening to such music now, for me good music, makes me look at the world in amazement, as if seeing it for the first time. Good music is better than ten cups of coffee. Good music makes you stare into the distance and simply wait, wait until the songs ends or until your thoughts about that music have finished. Good music can change your day, I know it has changed mine...

16 LSD miles this am. Felt awesome finishing up during sun-rise.
60 lap swim at dusk twelve hours later. The water was warm and it took me an hour.

Sunday reflections...

Surprisingly, yesterday's run did not leave me sore AT all. Considering how much of myself I left while running, I was surprised. It did make me very very hungry though - its a good thing. Losing my appetite is *the* worst thing that can happen to me! I have polished off my entire stash of NY malt balls, peanut butter m and m's (the huge red baggy you get in bulk), peanut butter cups (*sigh*) and reese's - these I mixed in ice cream and sprinkled with some trail mix - hey, nuts are good for you! Anyway, I've digressed - AGAIN!!

Anyway, its 2 weeks to the half that I'm just running for fun and nothing more. and Having a run to look forward is a nice way to keep the habit going. I have a doc appointment for my knee on the 13th, I have donated blood last week and after the run I plan on 2 weeks off. My knee is not well at all and I would rather take some time off to heal, rather than being out of commission for months.

My star sign rang very true the past few days - not that I believe in these things of course - heehee. Some thoughts...Why is it that opportunities present themselves to you when you are 99% sure you are following another path? The dark mood of the monsoon (mmm, its been raining the past 2 days - and it has been gross - rain or no rain) reflects me well right now, but as some of you know, that is what I like.

It has been a reflective past couple of days - it feels like the first anniversary of my life. My life began for the second time on August 7th of last year. I rank my life in 2 phases - pre. Aug 7th and post. I developed a newer identity last year that has remained with me. Much to the chagrin of people who knew me prior to that, it will continue to remain with me. I have changed - I am not as brave in my soul as I used to be.

Anyway, just feel like floating along this sunday. I should do something - but then think better of it and decide not to.

25 laps in the pool
60 or so (have not logged this in yet) of stairs.

Gave it my all today and left it on the trail. The internal chatter just had to stop and the only way to do that is to run as fast as you can, for as long as you can, so that you are too tired to think and too nauseous to feel bad about anything.

13 miles this am in 100 minutes
20 slow laps after.

Have a good weekend!

Stair workout.

I came across a workout that the American olympian javelin thrower (player? I forget) performs for conditioning. Its basically a stair drill that he performs on stadium steps that goes like this: start by taking one step, then skip 2, then 3, then 1 again, jog down, repeat. Do this for 18 minutes continuously. I read it a few days ago and have been waiting till I feel confident enough to perform it. I *love* stairs and hills - somehow they kill you before/when you do them, but the feeling afterwards is totally worth it.

Since 18 minutes for an Olympian is equivalent to 60000 minutes for a mere mortal like myself, I decided to do it for double that time to see how it feels. It felt awesome!!

This is what I did: 30 single repeats 7 minutes, his workout of 1,2,3,2,1 repeated 200 times in 37 minutes, 30 repeats to cool off. It hurt but in a really good way.
3.5 mile tempo. 6kms or so in 24 minutes!
30 laps in the pool to cool off.

Singapore has the reputation of being one of the rudest cities in Asia - I dont agree at all. A place is what you make of it - I also hear the same thing of New York, and having spent alot of time there as well, I dont agree. There are no rude cities, just rude people and since you can only control your own behavior, if you want a city to be *nice* or people to be *nice*, please practice it yourself first.

Why do I say this? Case in point: this morning. I felt awful and sluggish as I left home this morning and as I went down the lift, all I thought was "ugh...I feel fat, today is gross...its too hot...blah blah...this isnt right, etc, etc"...You know the usual negative thought process that goes through our heads most mornings. As soon as I got outside though, I met the nicest man. We have what I call a "waving relationship". I have seen him on and off since I have lived here - since 1997. He started walking on my trail a few years ago and we always wave hello. Recently however, we are not that shy anymore and its become more of a "HELLO". I nearly ran into him this morning, he flashed me the nicest, kindest smile that took me by surprise - so I greeted him with a thumbs up hello.

Perhaps I overstate, but I cannot tell you how much little things like that lift my spirits. It inspires me to do the same for someone else. It makes me want to be nicer. He will never know how much he made my day. I said hello and smiled at everyone this morning, and had one of my happiest runs. Not too bad on the speed either.

This is my long-winded way of saying - please smile at someone today, you might just make their day :-)

8.5 miles 70 minutes (just under 15kms)

I felt brave this morning - brave enough to perform one of the toughest workouts for me. When I feel strong and confident, I tend to sprint up the stairs with the windows shut, directy followed by a tempo run. 6 miles of each with a 20 lap swim and I am good to go.

I decided to do it this morning - made me very very nervous. Started off nice and slow before picking it up after 10 or so minutes. I shut all the windows while climbing up and lmost immediately got my heart rate up.

420 repeats on the staircase 83 minutes
6.8 mile run 60 minutes.

I wanted to swim but nixed the pool because the thought of having wet hair all morning was just too much!

The issue with my left leg isnt my knee - I think I have a torn hamstring so I have been religiously icing it (with a bag of frozen peas mostly) - will be seeing a doctor on the 13th!

I am insane :-)

They say the definition of clinical insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. I must be insane! I did go out today because I think I suffer from 'restless leg syndrome'. I cannot function without working up a nice sweat. It isnt exercise I'm addicted to - going to a gym would never make me happy. It is running.

This morning, I was delirious after the first 5 minutes - also because I knew I was doing something that would make everyone around me mad (sorry mum). I think we are happiest when our soul meets body - whatever that may be for you. For me, it is definately the act of running. I started off a bit later than usual - around 5:40am and finished when the sun wrapped its arms around me.

Running is a wonderful thing. Dont ever take it for granted!!

10miles this am. Brett from Australia reads this blog and was kind enough to wait until I finished to say hi. He recognized me from the photos I put up from Sundown. Thanks for saying hi - people have *no* idea how much I am inspired by kind words. They lift my spirits as I run. Thank you, thank you!!

Injured :-(

Running is suspended till my knee feels better.

Ugh! Its making me want to slop and eat and never wake up!! Injuries are so depressing!

Grrrrr....

The stupid police patrolling car kept tailing me this morning - I dont think it meant to, but the faster I ran, the faster it went. When will people here realise that when a female runner speeds up to get away from you, you are NOT supposed to follow her?! The dude at the wheel was no more than in his mid 20's maximum and kept peeking out the window - seriously annoying and not cool! Anyway, this is my rant for this sunday.

I am tired of whining about the heat and humidity - serves me right for being stubborn and not running on a treadmill. It is seriously hot! It was windy this morning and felt like a blow-dryer on "cool" setting, definately not cool.

7 miles. I went out too fast because of the said car - My time for 2miles was less than 11 minutes - my legs were burning!! I paid for it by walking the last mile home.

Praise the balls!

...Golf Balls that is. You see - my left foot is rolling on one to stretch out the base of my feet. I'm also going to try sitting on them to give it a deep massage - just because I'm fabulous that way. I read it works, I swear!

I was soaked to the bone this morning - so humid.
Ran up stairs for 83 minutes before I decided that it just too godamned HOT!!
I will be heading out at about 9am again this morning to do another 90 minutes of them or so. I know its going to be even worse humidiity, but what the heck! I like doing this to myself.

Almost 1000 stair repeats by the end of today. I must be going mad :-)
I will have Maynard (Tool) blasting in my ears for company.

New month, new day...

My mind was so negative this morning. Many people run when they are negative or angry. Since I rarely get angry, I will have to say I run better when I am happy. This morning however, I woke up being a crusty crab. I dont know why, but sometimes even I have one of those days. Will run 3-4 miles at some point this afternoon - I stayed put in bed this morning - did.not.want.to.move!

Here are some thoughts about God as I see it - I feel stronger in my faith, mainly because I am not in denial about *anything* - my morning conversations and confessions have gone a long way in giving me much needed peace.

If I can talk to God when I run and He helps me run better, then what is holding me back from talking to Him about EVERYTHING? If He can make me a strong runner, He can make me a better, more loving and caring human being with more patience. He can make me a great partner and daughter instead of just a good one. He has never stopped short of answering my prayers and has certainly restored some of my lost faith. I owe it to Him to talk to Him about everything.

I will do just that. I know my life will be better because of it. I will commit to that, and praying every single week. If I can commit to running 6-7 times a week, I can certainly give back 1 hour a day to say thank you and learn as much as I can about God, and how life was meant to be.

Hope you can find some peace and prayer that works for you. God bless!

13 slow and easy this am.

i am resting up for a long one tomorrow. My knee ache is back and I am due to donate blood tomorrow - *sigh*, maybe its time for a couple of days off?

This was hard!!!

I find I perform much better on an empty stomach and maybe 24hrs of rest and no more. I felt like a HUGE blimp this am. The amount of food I have put away for the past 2 days is not even funny and quite unbelievable for someone who weighs no more than 115 lbs. *sigh* I paid for it this am by dragging my massive behind for over 2 hrs!!!

350 stair repeats
16 repeats of 400m - 4 miles. I liked being on autopilot by running back and forth. I also wasnt too far away from home so I could bag it if I wanted to.
60 laps - 3 miles - in the pool. I forced myself to do this for the sake of my knees. My left knee is just about ok.

I feel semi-normal again.

Still a bit woozy Monday....

16 (27 kms) easy miles this morning. One of the longest runs I've had in awhile - not quite sure why I am finding it hard motivation-wise to run long nowadays. I have been noticing this trend for the past 8-9 weeks or so. Maybe its a combination of burnout and not adequate fueling. Hmm...

40 laps - 2 miles in the pool. My knee pain is almost all gone. Swimming in cold water after a long run goes a long way in reducing soreness.

Ran a very drunk 4.5 miles this am. Felt surprisngly strong - nothing like a nice sweat to get all the gunk out. I am deliriously happy for some reason despite zero shut-eye.

All of my favorite (read: nike running tights) clothes were in the laundry - a grand total of 3 pairs that I own - so I ran in my mizuno shorts. I forgot how comfortable they are and make me feel cute - *never* a priority on a run!

Anyway, have a good Sunday and eats lots of salty bacon :-)

Knee whine!

All I will do is whine about my knee, therefore, I will not be posting much and just reporting the number of miles I get done. Apart from a dull ache, I feel surprisngly strong and dare I say, it hurts more to walk than to run!!

Got 9.2 miles done this am. Totally resisted the urge to swim. Anything under 12 miles, and my body feels like its hardly worked. I barely broke a sweat :-(!

An easy 7.5 miles this morning. My knee, my knee :-(

I have been focusing on getting my speed back lately. It has been working.

Yesterday morning, I had an awesome run of 15.4 miles which took me 2hours and 3 minutes.

This morning, I mixed it up and here is what went down:
350 stair repeats 60 minutes
10kms as fast as I could - 48 minutes (my best 10k time is 41.xx on fresh legs)
70 sprints on the stairs.
All in all, this workout took me 2 hours - not bad at all!

I do however have a dull ache on the back of my left knee - I have been faintly limping for the past two days. It goes away after 20 or so minutes of warming up but comes back after an hour or so. I will mix it up by swimming tomorrow am and see if it helps.

People can’t understand why a man runs. They don’t see any sport in it. Argue it lacks the sight and the thrill of body contact. Yet, the conflict is there, more raw and challenging than any man versus man competition. For in running it is man against himself, the cruelest of all opponents. His adversary lies within him, in his ability, with brain and heart to master himself, his emotions and his pain.
Glenn Cunningham.

200 stair sprints 40 minutes
8 miles 70 minutes
35 freezing laps in the pool. brrrrrr

My knee still hurts!!!!

Catching up.

The running is still on. Saturday I plugged in 6.5 miles in 31 degrees with the sun shining fully overhead. This was done at 4pm. I took Sunday off - ate too many Jalebis (*sigh*) among other things. This made for a sluggish start this morning, but provided plenty of fuel for me to power through my workout this morning, plus some more. All is right with the world when I can spend a few hours sweating in the morning :-)

I measured my stair workout this am. I did to increase my stride length while running - If I climb stairs skipping, 3-4 stairs at a time, I find it helps, especially since Singapore is flat as a pancake. Anyway, I ended up doing a 1000 repeats in 100 minutes.
4.1 miles slow run - took me 35 minutes.
3.75 miles in the pool. 80 laps - water freezing and took me exactly 58 minutes. I am SO glad I can swim. I should admit that it takes alot out of me and I find it much harder than running. However, I try my best - which means, no stopping and if I get tired, I still go on till I reach a number I can live with for the day.

That is all folks. Its a beautiful morning :-)

P.S I am 32 days away from the Safra Bay run - hopefully it wont be as hot and I feel better about this run since it starts in the morning.

Porridge!

I decided to be adventurous and try a new breakfast - *drum roll please* - cold porridge. Porridge has been one constant in my life, not lately however. So last night, I decided to be really really creative with it and decided to have the "swiss" stylie - basically where you mix up everything and leaves it to stew in the fridge overnight. They have these stale concoctions in over-priced hotels that try to be posh and look like vomit. Anyway, it looked disgusting, but since I am open-minded I decided to give it a shot. I actually ran long this morning because I was dreading being back home for it. Cold anything reminds me of Henrietta Green, that awful stingy woman who died a millionaire - she never turned on the stove so she could save on gas and had cold porridge every day. Yes, this was actually going through my mind during my run. Cold anything makes me feel...well...cold and absolutely not comforted - I think its my North Indian tendency to over-heat everything shining through! Needless to say, room temperature, much like moderation, is something I abhor.

Anyway, I heated it up and all was good in the world again. Oh Porridge - how I have missed thee!

A really difficult new route I took today - absolutely loved it! It was broken up by 4 steep bridges that I walked. 11 miles. 8 slow and the last 3, I managed to sprint and forget about the heat/my legs/sweating. (For anyone interested, I basically took the Bus 36 route down Siglap, Bedok, etc - the East. I bumped into a few fellow crazies who also decided to ditch the usual routes. The usual ones are way too crowded by annoying little kids and "bikers" - those obnoxious boys who look like they are racing through the Tour de France. Anyway, this rant is for another post.)
Followed by 25 - a mile - laps in the cold cold pool.

Recovery - in more ways than one.

I bumped into my father as I left this morning. Dawn is the only time I get to see him properly nowadays, since we are like two peas in a pod, he wakes up for a 10k every single morning around 4am. Did I mention he is 62?? Now you know why I am the way I am :-)

Anyway, we left together, talking and laughing (mind you, I am super grumpy most of the time and especially just before a run!) and before I knew it, we started warming up together and off we went. My father walks about 20 minutes of his route, and I asked if I could pace him today. We both HATE working out with other people, but with each other, its easy, because he reads me like no one else can and when you have that kind of understanding and trust - life is simple.

Cut the long story short, I had one of my best recovery runs today. I feel refreshed and strong and got a few laughs in before 7am - we came back home sweaty, laughing and holding hands. And I know that this is going to be tucked away in my memory bank; and in hindsight, I am going to look at this as an example of how I would want my child to look at me. I can only hope to one day share a moment like this with one of mine :-)

7 miles that I did not time. It felt easy, though I did have a few quick pick ups in between - they didnt last more than 20-30 seconds at a time.

Smile at someone today :-)

I was in an excellent mood this morning! I smiled at absolutely everybody - be warned, I will hunt you down if you dont smile back!! :-))

I wanted to do a tempo as a change of pace today - I havent done one in forever - atleast 12 or so weeks, if not more.

8 miles in an hour. Not bad at all. I did however stop for 10 or so minutes as time-out since it was so breezy. Just sat down with my hands in prayer - doing whatever it is that one calls it :-)

Well this has never happened to me before - not this soon anyway. About 15 minutes into my sprints this morning, I felt like throwing up. I dry-heaved my way through my entire workout this morning hoping it would get better. I have done this a thousand times before and I have NEVER felt as nauseous as I did today. Not just nauseous mind you; but on the verge of throwing up - I feel awful :-(. I have enough experience to know my breaking point and I wasnt even close to it today - or recently. Whatever it is, please go away :-(.

300 sprints on the stairs 60 minutes
2 surprisingly fast miles before I called it a day. 7:40min/mile.

It wasnt the weather - it wasnt all that hot this morning (was it?) or particularly humid. I am at a loss??!!

Easy Monday

Ive been waking up ridiculously early again.

2.5 mile run
220 stair repeats 45 minutes
Went back out for another 3.5 miles

How do I feel after yesterday? I feel good and tired, but not as though a herd of stampeding elephants have lovingly tap danced all over my body.

Have a good week all!

Of Kipling and a 27 mile run!

I wish I turned 13 - that way I'd only have to run 13 miles for my birthday. I bought new shoes yesterday and I always do a celebratory run in my new shoes. Now new shoes *and* my birthday is just too much to resist. Boy, do I sound like a *huge* geek. Please bear with me :-)

Anyway, as usual, I got the ugliest color available - thank you Asics. They never have a decent color for me - EVER! Since Asics dont make pink - thank god - I dont care. I got a hideous orange pair. If anyone has ever had a look at my footwear, its pretty obvious that I dont sweat these things too much.

I also turned 27 yesterday. I have spent the past 3 days eating way way way too much. *sigh*, I know I run alot, however, the excess in my personality means that I do everything to excess and unfortunately, this means eating and sometimes (only sometimes) drinking. I chalked it up to carbo-loading and set off on a 27 miler at 2am this morning. I love running! I havent done a long run in ages and my body protested - alot. The one thing you learn from running is that discomfort is never an excuse to stop. Discomfort only means that you dont do it enough and you should suck it up and do some more :-)

One of my favorite running quotes and something that I think about alot during my runs is from the poem "IF" by Kipling, my favorite author thanks to my father, who first introduced me to Kipling when I was 6. The clincher, for me, is in the last 4 lines of the poem that go "...If you can fill the unforgiving minute, With sixty seconds worth of distance run - Yours is the earth and everything thats in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!".

This poem used to be plastered on my desk right from the time I started first grade. It had been plastered on my Father's desk when he was a cadet at the NDA in India as an 18 year old. I think I was being groomed to be a certain type of person from a very young age. I am not complaining.

Thank you mister Kipling. Once again, your words teach me alot about myself :-)

27 miles this am in about 4 hours. I felt *alot* better than I felt during Sundown, although, I know I have a long way to go before I am back to where I belong in terms of speed. The smell of Durian around mile 14 made me double over and almost throw up. Sometimes Singapore annoys me SO much!!!
40 laps in the cold water as a "treat" for my legs.

X-Training Friday

Always refreshing when cool air graces my cheeks. I miss winter - theres a beauty in the grey that can never be replicated by summer. I am one of few people who despise summer.
This morning however, with my thoughts of getting into the cool air, I left my keys on my table, I realise this only when I was halfway to my destination. Always when I do this I get a feeling the day will be bad. I believe I get this feeling because you have put the wrong foot forward, and you cannot withdraw that foot and start with the other.
I am in need of a swedish winter with brown eyes :-)

1000 repeats on the stairs.
90 laps in the pool. A milestone for me! I have *never* spent an hour in the pool ever - it requires a different kind of fitness and patience that I lack. It took me 66 minutes and I swim alot like I run - no breaks and in rhythm.

I like the fact that I can cross-train and still maintain fitness. Nothing compares to running, however. I wanted to give my legs a break before a long one tomorrow, while still maintaining my need for activity.

I stink of chlorine!!!

Carnival time.

Carnival time is near, when I run as the night wakes the dawn. I ask myself as I run, will true love come my way and stay in my heart or will I live alone...

I feel like a finally broke a mental barrier with distance this morning. *Maybe*. I still dont feel as strong as I did a few months ago, and my speed has most definately suffered. I finished 15 miles in the time it usually took to finish 18-19. I took 7 walk breaks.

Getting there, not quite there yet. 15 miles in 145 minutes.

Done!

An easy 11 this very windy morning. I need to up mileage but have been getting very impatient lately.

Oh well. Tomorrow is another day!

The reluctance of thought

I woke to a startling email from my supervisor. For those who dont know, I am researching subaltern India, which for now is on hold. Did I mention that marathoning and writing are very similar endeavors?! Anyway, I disgress...apparently, I should have done a literature review many moons ago. For numerous reasons, some legitimate, others definately not, I have not thus far. The reasons why I have struggled is that there are numerous writers who have handled this terrain very well and this intimidates me. It has been difficult for me to find two mountains and say "oh look, I have found a bridge that links them" which is essentially what I must do. Until I find the bridge, I usually dont know where to start reading and how to start a literature review.

To cut the long story short, I wrote him a half hearted email back,squirming and wriggling my way through and reassuring him that I knew what I was doing. I also threw in a photo of me from my travels for good measure - a picture of a young lass in a tropical climate never fails to please anyone and it was my last resort - and Im not ashamed to say - I used it :-)

I'm not quite sure why I share this story - these things always sound better in my head. Oh well, no ones making anyone read this - so, whatever!

Oh, the reluctance of thought!

I felt like a lump this morning and did not feel like hauling myself around in this humidity. Opting for the staircase first, I decided to do some laps in the pool, and to make damaging my hair worth it.

900 sprints on the stairs in 90 minutes.
75 (longest ever!!) laps in the pool. 3 miles in 47 minutes. I felt proud - only running feels easy, swimming is a whole 'nother story for me.

Sundaily.

I have a feeling that this 27th year is going to be *the* turning point of my life. The last time I had such strong feelings about things was when I turned 18 and moved out of home fo the first time. This internal struggle is even more poignant - I just want what GOD intended for me, it is all up to HIM.

The miles are just being clocked in for the sake of it - it is the only time I feel sane and in control.

11 miles this am
14 laps in the freezing pool.

Saturday miles and a wonderful quote :-)

I did one of the most challenging workouts yesterday morning, but didnt have the chance to post.
1200 stair repeats in early morning humidiity followed by 4.15 miles in 29 minutes. My legs were burning afterwards, but felt very strong!

This morning I did a favorite workout - long run followed by a few freezing laps in the pool. 10.5 miles (around 18 kilometers), followed by 20 very cold laps in the pool. I havent done any speed work in ages - I have lost alot of it in the past 2 months. I did 10 100m repeats which felt much harder than I remember.

I did some reading last night and came across this quote - thought I would share :-)
"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life." Galations 6:4-5

Tripped - yet again!

Weighed in at 115 pounds this morning. About 6 miles into the run, I got dizzy and nipped my foot behind my ankle and tripped over - yet again. *sigh*, Unfortunately, I scrapped the same hand at the same spot as a few months ago. I also scrapped both my knees but no bleeding. I then ran back 7 miles home after gathering myself 5 minutes later. Thats what you do - you get on with it.

13 miles this morning starting at 4am.

I am finding running mentally exhausting at the moment. Since fitness is my number one priority - I have decided to not push myself too much - this always leads to a downward spiral. So here is what I have decided to do - I dont push myself past a certain point, while still continuing to cross-train.

305 sprints on the stairs.
3 mile run where I cramped up. I was totally dehydrated. It is also the first time in a long time I bailed out.
65 lap swim - just over 2.5 miles

All in all, it lasted 2 hours and 30 minutes. The body is still supple but I would still prefer to run - the feeling is beyond comparison!